4

All of them are gone 
Unless I become them
Take their form

Put myself to sleep so he might be able to 
Speak with them 
See them
Feel
Normal

I took that from him. 
He is this - this -
I did this. 

Riye, you could see it
You knew. 
You knew both - you - 
You saw that I couldn’t have killed him, but you saw that I could kill you. 
I don’t know if I had parents but I had you
You knew what I had to do and you saw

You saw 

You saw me fail
You knew I loved.
And in that face I saw what I have not seen
Directed at me

Pity. 

How could you pity me
With my blade
His blade
In your stomach?

The fall wouldn’t kill me
Likely wouldn’t kill me.
Maybe wouldn’t. 
The fall might kill me but don’t I deserve it?

I deserve to fall.
Strange Fruit, falling under a gathering storm

Words stick in my throat as I’m thrown from the building. So many different words so many big words and tiny words but big words because I’ve held them in my mouth, beneath my tongue 

Beneath my throat
Beneath my ribs
For so long. 

The roots of this tree wrap around my heart, prepare to rip out my soul and

And his hand, warm, takes mine. 
His hand, *warm*, takes mine. 

Not… not naturally warm.
No, not naturally, but

But I’m sorry
I’m sorry, but

When I change I am not me and 
And I didn’t want to be alone again. 

And you - 

You’re 

You’re a puzzle to me. 

Your face is a puzzle

I like puzzles

I like this puzzle

The puzzle of you 

And I don’t know how to 

But you’re warm. 
Is it you?