3

We live a life that is incredibly brief 
Fragile, Lailai
It can be snuffed with more ease than a candle
Pull twine taut 
Hold 
Wait

Smile at the guard in the next room
Bend to pick up the pen you dropped
While he stares at your ass
Stab him in the neck on the upswing
Barely break stride and most definitely

Don’t 
Get blood
On the collar. 
.
.

Every room has its own characteristics
It’s just about understanding what they are
Reading the history in the walls
You don’t need a book for that, Lailai
Don’t look at me like that -
It helps, of course
But sometimes the walls have eyes
And they’re desperate to tell you what they saw
You just have to listen
Watch - I’ll show you 
.
.

I can’t get us back. 
There are parts missing
Crucial to the window’s functionality
Broken window - just a hole in eternity, hnh?
Glass is very difficult to make evenly, but it’s time you learned
You need goggles
Everyone needs goggles
How can you look at the world without something to protect you from what you see, hnh?
No surprises, Lailai. 
We talked about how to solve puzzles, hnh?
.
.

Look at it from every possible angle.
Really think about it. 
Make sure you can visualise it - every part.
Learn the puzzle as though it’s the last think you’ll ever see. 
If you can’t solve it, it might be. 
Now for the important part:

Learn that puzzle - know everything about it -
Then close your eyes.
It’s there - behind your eyelids, behind your eyes
Tunnelling into your brain
Seeding down into your soul 

See that puzzle? 
When it disappears, your mind has finished processing it. 
When it disappears, your eyes know what to do, your hands will stop rippling with uncertainty.
When it disappears, your soul has acknowledged it, taken what it wanted and disposed of the parts it couldn’t incorporate with itself. 

The puzzle is solved. 

You need only enter the code. 

If you can see it beyond the puzzle that remains unsolved. 

I do hate it here.

The inorganic nature of it all…
The puzzle I once thought I could solve 
Eventually 

I’m not sure I can birth young, or even if pregnancy is possible in my… 
I’ve never met a pregnant -
I’ve never met a changeling. 
Not without a mirror. 

This form is strange - a need for something missing but a fullness.
This form should not be here. 
She should not be here. 

I should not be here. 

Jordan is right: I can’t get us back. 
Coh’Jak - my Coh’Jak - is screaming our history; the walls, the floors…calling for sunlight in a time of wights and darkness. 
Sairwa…I’m fragile. I don’t think I can take another broken window.