Realm and King

Stupid.
What I did was stupid.
Utterly, utterly foolish.
An entity
With an immortal frame
One who could live forever
Or at least - one who can send
A Reaper from their sight

There is no logical reason for that course of action
And the pain it caused
Will ripple through existence
My existence
For all the years I choose to live.

The creature was dying
Gone
Going
The world is cruel
Unyielding
Unfair
That’s just the way it is.

And so
To try to save a creature from death
One who has experienced death
Who knows the slowing of the heart
Has known it before
Knew it before
Knows the importance of every heartbeat
To continued existence

The enormity of such a decision
Would ripple through the realm
Like a fire
Carrying with it the words of my thoughtlessness
Thoughtfulness
Thoughtlessness
Fear of emptiness

I’d do it again.

And again.
And again.
Again
and
again.
I would fill him with
Whatever I had to give
If it meant he lived.

The whole of me
Foolishly given
Willingly given

Punishment.
Punishment for my distrust
My ignorance
Dismissiveness
For silencing the truth
That I love him.

If he should hate me
For what he has become
For the changes wrought on his form -
so be it.

But by the Sun and Moons
Is he not beautiful?
For there is beauty in his existence
And Mercutio -
My Mercutio
Still stands.

He stands.
Stronger. Tall.
Fae. Beast.
For all the grey shadowy darkness in my eyes
The colour returning to him is warm. Soft.
Fae.

If I kill your highness
I do not know if they will let me go home
Or if they will praise my actions
To live for these mortals
With these mortals
I must kill you.

Your highness
My foolishness sprung from you.

If not for you
I would not have considered I could love

If not for you
I would not have considered I could kill royalty

But love I have
And kill I must

If your death means I am banished?
so be it
My realm and king are one.

I would never be content.
But life does not have to be so dull.