22: Darkness Settles In

As the floor dropped out from beneath her, Alexandrie Donadieu considered the city above and what it was they were leaving to do. The industrial part of Glitter Data Cove had been dark and loud (quietly loud?) and smelled of iron and smoke and blood. Spider looked at home. Re’ne’mala looked nonchalant. Re’ne’shi looked grateful. Only she and Lucas looked out of place - and Chevalier, though Chevalier seemed to have a way of looking so much out of place that he fit in wherever he went. The half elf edged closer to Chevalier even as Re’ne’mala glanced around from where she led them, the wheels of her chair gliding silently through the streets. They’d been halfway to the mine shaft before she realised she hadn’t been able to say goodbye to Rachel Grey. Further thought about why led her eyes back to Re’ne’shi, the unknown member of the party. Alexandrie didn’t quite know what to make of them, but Lucas had made his stance quite clear, almost falling over himself to get her a chair and compliment her…Shi... and Mala...

Mala hadn’t liked Alexandrie when they’d first met because Mala thought Alexandrie was trying to hurt Lucas…and now Mala was their guide. Was Shi like Mala? 

My tongue is not awkward. 

Something about the situation made her uncomfortable, and she didn’t know what. As she often did, she’d asked La Chanson whether the most immediate threat was still a concern.

For all its presence in her - her mind, her body - it was still unready to tell her everything she thought she needed to know to do what it would ask of her. There was a deeper part that suggested if she really wanted to know, all she needed to do was ask the right question, but what would be the right question? Was there a wrong one? The certainty she felt when she was given an answer was comforting, but not enough, and for all the power Lucas felt running through him, Alexandrie could feel more -  more varied, more rich, more delectable, more…just out of reach. More. 

La Chanson du Monde could draw on the world, and so could she. 

Or so she felt.  

And that was the problem - because when it came down to it, if she could be, could have, could do so much more, would she be the next Genofeva? Would she someday decide to take Shining Capital for herself? Silver or Steel…for now she was silver. Easy to look at, welcome, plentiful. But would she become steel?

Seated on her pack, she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Genofeva would still be able to find them, but maybe not so easily? She could hope. 

Despite hope, she knew it was not that simple. She’d asked Vee whether he thought Genofeva had heard La Chanson. He said it was unlikely, but if the Sorceress hadn’t, why did La Chanson respond to her? How did she know about Vee? What had she done to become so powerful?

And if she had heard La Chanson and had become what she was, what would stop Alexa becoming the same?

Sitting in the dark as the floor fell and the world closed in, for the first time in a long time she considered what might come after. They’d left their second major stop now - they were moving - moving forward. Onward. Closer. La Chanson was happy - she was happy. Glad to be closer. Closer to  what?

Crossroads. 

Would Lucas and Spider leave when they got to Cliffspider? Would it just be she and Viellard for the last part of the journey? Would the Edgewaters find their grandfather? La Chanson said he lived…she was glad for them. Very glad. They didn’t have a task - just whim. They followed their passion - felt desire and tracked it across the country.

Would she? When this was over, would she be able to just go back home and pretend nothing had ever happened? Get married, have children, do as society demanded of a girl like her.

Even the thought felt lonely.

Some time ago, Spider had told her that those of court had dalliances to keep boredom at bay. Now that she knew exactly what he was talking about, she could understand how that might be, but…was that all there was to life? Sex, babies, die?

When did people in Shining Capital braid light through their hair? When did they watch burritos being prepared or hear strange jars murmur ominously? When did they see a village of lizard folk and learn about a society? When did they dance with rarely seen elves…When did they fight pirates of flirt with an entire dock of ship captains or see in the ashes of a city the ghosts of Progress?

How could Grandmère bear to come home? How could she bear to return to such a…

How could she choose to live in one city after everything she had seen?

Unless it was what she saw that made her crave the familiar, even though she rebelled, in part, against it.

Alexandrie couldn’t imagine Grandmère loving life in Shining Capital. Not anymore. Not with what she had see - with what she had experienced. Chevalier had said several times that she and Grandmère were strikingly similar. If they were similar in so much else, they must be similar in this. So why  return to Shining Capita? Why not do…whatever needed to be done - even without La Chanson…

Ah.

That was the point though, wasn’t it? She and Grandmère were strikingly similar. If Alexa feared how useful she would be without La Chanson, wouldn’t Grandmère?

The dark closed in just a little more and she hugged her knees tighter.

Without La Chanson, without doing what she was asked, without…something that made her different to Grandmère, the most logical thing was to return to Shining Capital, get married and have children. What else did she know? She wasn’t a soldier, or a spy or a secret trader. She was a Sanjuio, raised to be envied in court, to cause a stir.

So what would happen when she completed her task? Probably the same thing as if she didn’t.

Considering she hadn’t wanted to leave home in the first place, the prospect of going back there was…

Well…

“Do you mind if I create some light?”

She did not want to think about this anymore. 

Please, some light. Bright light to chase away these thoughts.

Two heavy sighs.

“Blue or violet or red, not yellow.”

Two late she processed the request and she blazed white before settling into a soft neon blue, as if her skin glowed from within.

Close. The magic was close, and she could ignore those thoughts. 

For now, La Chanson was a part of her.

She would cherish every moment.